All Photos in this post are from Montana Crumlish Photography
Like Reality TV, but IRL.
Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.
Ok, ok, I'm not going to reference too many TV shows in here, but when you can incorporate The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, you have to take that opportunity.
Did you watch Love is Blind on Netflix during this quarantine? Cause I did. I watched people talk for 3 days (ish), get engaged, got on a honeymoon, move in together, and get married all within the span of a month. Unlike most, I do not watch the Bachelor, but I am pretty sure I get the premise: a guy has his pick of a bunch of girls, takes them on extravagant dates, and then proposes to one (also in a short timeline I am sure). Then do not even GET me started on Married at First Sight. Cody and I literally stayed up until 2am binge watching that show because we just HAD to know who stayed together (tbh I am eagerly looking forward to another season).
All this to say, there are a lot of shows on love & relationships and as anyone who is alive knows, these shows are horribly inaccurate pictures of what it means to love someone and promise your life to them.
For the longest time, I thought that Netflix / Lifetime / Disney / Hulu / any other TV platform should make a show of my comedic dating life, or lack there of.
I was 26, fresh off a plane from Iceland and back in the good ole state of Montana to enjoy some time at the lake before heading back to California. I had been single for each and every one of those days of my 26 years of life. Had a gone on dates? Sure, you could say that. I went on 2.5 dates to be exact. Had I ever had a boyfriend? Nope. And the biggest kicker of all? I had never kissed anyone. *cue dramatic music*
But, I was refreshed and coming off of a world-traveling high, so I downloaded Hinge. I sat at the shore of the lake scoping out potential guys on my phone. I got back home and went on a date with one potential suitor. It was awkward. I got in the car and vowed to never online again.
My sister tried to talk me off the ledge, but I insisted that this stint on Hinge was OVER. I opened the app to delete my profile and there he was. The most handsome, blue-eyed, dog-loving not-a-cowboy-but-wants-to-be I had ever seen. I figured I would give Hinge one more shot.
We got chatting. We met for our first date (bowling- I knew he was going to be great when he suggested doing something fun). Then a second date, a third, and so on.
There were a lot of moments I knew he was my. person. I couldn't tell you one big moment that it came rushing at me, I often think of our third date as the one where I began to fall in love- dancing on the back porch (and Cody unbuttoning his shirt to "show me his tattoos). I guess I just kind of knew the whole time though. It was too perfect- a U of A frat boy meets the APU good girl. It truly was the romantic comedies of all romantic comedies because it was ACTUALLY happening in real frickin life.
We dated for about 7 months and Cody proposed. I like to pretend I didn't know it was coming, but like any good RomCom, I was able to predict the ending.
We got engaged in the middle of a nationwide quarantine. We only dated 7 months before getting engaged. We met online. We did things unconventionally, but that does not mean they were done wrong.
Our next unconventional move? Planning a newly coined "micro-wedding." Trimming back on the traditional wedding ruffles and bows and making it about what we desire our marriage to be about: God, our families, & each other.
So, maybe unconventional will be our "thing"? Who knows. Maybe things will normalize and we will be cookie cutter: a 4 bedroom house, 2.5 kids, and a golden retriever (we already have a German Shepherd though, so here we are making things unconventional again!). Or maybe instead of trying to make our lives fit everybody else's view of what our lives should be, we will continue to step out of the way and let God lead.
Some people thought we were CRAZY for getting engaged so quickly. But what kind of Netflix / Lifetime / Disney / Hulu / any other TV platform show would we be if we didn't throw a curveball in? The truth of the matter: it wasn't a curveball because it was what was right for us. I hope you, the reader of this longer-then-I-planned blog post, take that and treasure it deeply. You are not confined, dictated, or controlled be anyone else. No one else gets to write your story. RomCom or not. Weird Netflix series or not. You know your heart. Do what is right by where God is leading you. Others may not understand it, but it doesn't matter because even Jesus couldn't please everyone and NEWSFLASH it isn't your job to try. (*writes post it note to self as a daily reminder)
So live your own personal reality TV / awkward Netflix series life. Get your first kiss at 26 (or later!) or don't. Try online dating or don't. There's beauty in the fact that God writes each of us our own story. Live yours loved and to the fullest.
xoxo, TMSC
